By Erol Yilmaz

In the 'A' team's last friendly before starting their league campaign against MMB, a dour match was brought to life in the 65th minute.

Player manager Yilmaz - having seen enough - strolled on to the pitch. He then proceeded to give the Darkside defence the run around. After 80 minutes the Ruts forced a corner and joint manager Paul Beaumont put a superb cross in. A shout of ELMOOOOOOOO'S could be heard in Kingston town centre as Yilmaz rose like a SEAL and powered a bullet header into the top corner!

Job done, Yilmaz substituted himself in the 81st minute and allowed his team to hold on for a 1-0 victory.

By Paul Beaumont

The 3's started the season with a 4-5-1 formation, or had intended to. MMB turned up with only nine players so the Ruts changed tactics to 4-4-2 with Minibrain and D Poulter up front. Against only nine men the Ruts thought it was going to be easy and looked to be putting in no effort at all. MMB had the better chances with the quick forward racing onto several through balls but squandered them all.

After the tenth and eleventh players for MMB had turned up, and had been introduced to their team-mates, the Ruts realised that they were in a game and decided they needed to put some more effort in. Capper became more influential in midfield and controlled the game.

Minibrain put the Ruts ahead with a neat finish but MMB scrambled an equaliser soon after. Both sides had chances with Burton pulling off some fine saves in the Ruts goal. The Ruts scored the winner on the counter-attack, a chipped through ball from Forrest put Minibrain away and he coolly despatched the winner for a 2-1 Ruts victory.

Report to follow...

By Paul Beaumont

The 'veteran' ORs decided to play on the small pitch at Nursery Road against the younger opposition. It turned out that this helped save the legs of the Ruts players but hindered their passing in the more confined spaces as Riverdale closed down and harried the Ruts.

In a close encounter both sides had opportunities to take the lead but both strike forces missed good opportunities. Poor marking lead to Riverdale taking the lead and this meant that the Ruts had to push forward in search of the equaliser. Riverdale added two more goals on the counter attack as a
consequence of this. The Ruts got little consolation from a late Minibrain goal for a 3-1 defeat.

By Paul Beaumont

On paper the Ruts had a good draw facing the team propping up their division. However, it turned out not to be the case.

Southfields scored an early goal which visibly lifted the whole side giving themselves re-newed belief in their season. Despite this the Ruts were the better team and had numerous chances to level the game. Goldsmith missed with a snap-shot after an error left the opposing keeper out of his net. Elmo was put clean through but the keeper read his intentions and saved easily down to his left. Then
the Ruts were awarded a penalty - Rowlands stepped up. His shot hit the post and the rebound was put wide. Then in the couple of minutes before half-time a defensive mix-up, and deflected shot, put Southfields 3-0 up at the break.

After a lambasting from the gaffer the Ruts looked to turn things around in the second half and controlled the game early on. Again chances came and went, and then the killer blow - heads dropped when Southfields added a fourth on the break. The opposition were enjoying themselves now, whilst the Ruts looked like they had given up. Southfields added two further goals and the Ruts only consolation was a strike from substitute Ryan Stevens, scoring after some good work harrying the Southfield defence.

The final score was a demoralising 6-1 defeat and an exit from the Cup.

By Richard Hayward

The Ruts were looking to put in a strong performance, bearing in mind the 6-1 hammering the week before. Unfortunately events from the night before spilled over to the Saturday and the long serving 3rd team boss Yilmaz was not allowed to be involved in the match activity.

Well done to Paul ‘Forrest’ Beaumont who not only stepped up to run the team but also did a superb job refereeing the game after a no-show from the man in black. Paul was however aided by one of the strongest 3rd team squads on paper in recent years.

Capper, Hayward and Stupid Hawley were all being given runs in the 3s and were bringing experience and organisation to the side. Couple this with a starting place for lethal marksmen Pete 'Feza' Day and the return of safe hands Burton and things looked good.

A good suface greeted both teams and Ruts immediately tried to play football from the back through the team. They looked in control from an early stage and after the first from Ryan Stephens should have been able to tighten the screw. The Ruts - who were winning personal battles all over the field - were in control, but problems occurred when between a lack of closing from wide players and forwards meant the home full backs were launching diagonal balls to opposite wide players.

These balls were by-passing the impressive central defensive partnership of Hayward and Winters (who amazingly was heading the ball forwards) allowing quick wide players opportunities behind the Ruts full backs.

This is where the equaliser as well as Laburnum's 2nd goal came from. Fortunately the spine of the team continued to dominate and chances were coming in quick succession - 'Feza' and Ryan both put away two good goals and one from Lyle made the win emphatic.

Let's keep the defense tight in coming weeks and wins will surely come with the strikers the club have available. Big game against basement side Southfields next weeks - come on the thirds and avenge the 3-1 humiliation two Saturdays ago.

By Paul Beaumont

Two weeks earlier the Ruts had suffered a 6-1 thrashing at the hands of Southfields in the League Cup in a poor display. This was a chance to exact some sort of revenge. Southfields personnel had changed quite a bit from the previous encounter and the Ruts looked the most likely scorers early on with Trigger's pace causing the opposition problems.

The Ruts held the upper hand in the game despite both sides looking disinterested in proceedings with very little movement or passion on the pitch. Two goals from Trigger and a spectacular 40 yard rocket from Stu Hawley had the Ruts firmly in control, but they couldn't put the game away.

Southfields right winger scored a 30 yard special of his own but immediately Trowbridge capitalised on a defensive mix up to score in an empty net from outside the box. Then a misunderstanding in the Ruts defence saw the right winger score his second to make it 4-2 and the pressure mounted.

In the 89th minute a deflected shot from outside the box made it 4-3 (and a hattrick for the winger). In a game with little incident (aside from the scoring) the ref found over three minutes of injury time. In the 93rd minute the Ruts failed to clear a ball that bounced four times in their own box and the
Southfields winger scored his fourth with the last kick of the match to make the final score 4-4.

The Ruts should have easily won this game but looked to be going through the motions for most of the match. A lot more effort and enthusiasm is required to avoid this season falling into a relegation battle.

By Erol Yilmaz

Tolworth was the venue for the start of the Third team's Surrey Cup adventure for the season. AFC Kingston were to prove a tough nut to crack, but two outstanding goals was the difference.

With Stuart Hawley having to work and turning up a minute before kick off, manager Paul 'Forrest' Beaumont had to change his team plans. The new system seemed to work with the Ruts dominating an exciting first half. The veteran central midfield duo of Erol Yilmaz and Nigel Watford controlled the show getting the ball out wide as much as possible to Vermeulen and the boss himself. The
forwards Ryan Stephens and Adam 'Feza' Clark were also making a nuisance of themselves, especially Fez (who rated 2/10 the previous week) who was putting some fantastic crosses and corners in.

With 25 minutes gone a hopeful ball was lobbed into the box and the clearance landed five yards outside the box on Waffski's right boot. Goal of the Season was born as the ball flew into the top corner of the net on the full volley. Nigel almost spoke but alas, still remained silent. The goal was
fantastic though!

On 35 minutes AFC forced a corner and troubled the impressive Ruts back four of Minibrain, Rowlands, Winter and Ardley for pretty much the only time in the game. The corner was quite clearly put in with both hands but the ref allowed the 'Hands of Cod' to stand. Yilmaz and keeper Burton (who has probably been the player of the season to date) complained, but to no avail.

This spurred the Ruts into action and it was a previous Surrey Cup winning hero that came up with the winner. Another superb corner by Feza was met with a brave near post diving header from Yilmaz which flew into the top corner. The crowd went wild and even Stu was stunned! The Ruts went into half time 2-1 up in what was their best half performance of the season to date.

The second half was a non event really with the most entertaing part coming when Yilmaz and Beaumont confused matters over substitutions and the Ruts played with 10 men for a few minutes. Hawley, Hicks and another sub (can't remember who it was - he obviously didn't do much) came on to see out the remainder of the game.

So the Ruts march into the second round. Can they do it again? Man of the Match was an impressive Ardley who put in his best performance of the season.

By Pete Day

The 3rds took on Maori Park, our rivals of last season. Both sides were much changed from last season's adventures, with Maori having barely any familiar personnel.

On a good surface and with the game being played at a slow pace, this one appeared to be there for the taking. The Ruts defence, marshalled by Bernie, seemed to be in full control as we defended the considerable slope in the first half. A lapse in concentration though saw Maroi take the lead. The Ruts equalised soon afterwards when a mix up between keeper and centre back presented the ball to Waffle on the penalty spot and he did the necessary. The only other attacking incident of note in the first half was when Stuart Hawley hit the post from about 50 yards.

Having turned round at 1-1 we had the advantage of the slope in the second half and were quietly confident that with a little more work we could get the result. On the hour Maori won a corner and an unchallenged header at the far post saw us fall behind. With 15 minutes to go the defence was stretched and a lack of cover saw the Maori striker slot home for 3-1 after he'd consumed his cup of tea.

Desperate times called for desperate measures and Yilmaz came off the bench to smash home Waffle's pass to give us hope on 85 minutes. We applied pressure, but the only real chance fell to Ollie Hicks who failed to make significant contact when well placed.

This was the first time I'd seen the 3rds in action this season (and could be the last time if the gaffer takes offence at my match report!!). I won't call us a team because we didn't discuss the game at half time or full time as one and therefore didn't play as one. Individuals need to take a little look at themselves and ask how they can contribute more to the team. Support your manager, offer advice, encourage where possible, criticise constructively and put those mistakes right. Let's hope that we've all done enough fitness work this week to show a marked improvement in the workrate and are able to walk off the pitch knowing that we've given our all.

By Paul Beaumont

The Ruts turned out at a deserted Nursery Road (no other games being played there) with a couple of last minute changes due to illness and call ups. Pete Day took over in goal, and someone else (I forget who... let's call him the forgettable sub) moved to the bench as Yilmaz returned to the attack after being doubtful with a neck/shoulder injury - not helped by falling down the stairs at home as he left to go to the game.

After the teams observed a two minute silence the game began. The Ruts started well, returning to the passing football they played to win in the Surrey Cup two weeks earlier. Minibrain added pace up front and combined well up front with Elmo 'Teddy' Yilmaz (just as well he's two yards quicker
in his head than everyone else, as he's five yards slower than everyone else with his legs!)

Tiny had been promoted back to the 3's and marshalled the defence, Trowbs coped well with the speedy left winger facing him and still managed to get forward and support the attack himself. A couple of 'interesting' long range free kicks from Winter and Stu Hawley worried the club Treasurer due to the Air Mail costs involved in returning the balls.

With the Malden keeper doing a 'Reina' Tiny was next in line to take the free kick and decided to pass the ball at the end of the defensive wall. In an act of 'kindness' the defender on the end stepped out of the way and everyone watched the ball sail into the dead centre of the goal - 1-0 Ruts.

Soon after some great interplay down the right involving Trowbs, Minibrain and Goldsmith lead to Elmo ignoring the doctor's orders and heading the Ruts 2-0 up. Minibrain's pace then got him behind the Malden defence to make it 3-0 at half time.

The second half continued in the same way, Malden playing long balls down the middle and trying to win the second ball or getting the ball to the speedy left winger. The Ruts were playing the ball around and mixed in passes through the Malden defence for Minibrain's pace.

On the hour mark Trowbs had to be replaced due to injury and with the side re-shuffled Nigel Watford moved to right-back. Minibrain then got away from the defence again for his second goal - 4-0. He soon followed this with a 'jug avoidance' miss when alone in the box after 'Teddy's'
header back across goal.

A worse miss was soon to follow, but by the other striker. Elmo had time to finish his cup of tea and have a slice of cake on the edge of the six yard box with defenders scrambling across the goal,
only to decide at the last minute to try and deposit the ball on the tram tracks 100 metres away rather than to score - a task which he only just failed to complete.

Soon after the miss the forgettable sub gleefully called Elmo off the field, which is apparently one of his highlights during his time at the Ruts. A lapse in defence let Malden back in the game at 4-1 but Minibrain completed his hat-trick with a fine finish (5-1) and was then promptly substituted. Then, as is worryingly becoming the 3's Modus Operandi, we lost our shape, couldn't keep hold of the ball, and let the oppo attack us for most of the last 25 minutes of the game. In this time Malden scored two goals but the Ruts held on for a 5-3 win.

Overall a good performance for 65 minutes, which we need to extend to 90 minutes in the future in order to lower the stress levels for players and supporters alike. The 2.30pm kick-off also meant most of the second half was played in very gloomy conditions; can we have an earlier kick-off time in the future?

By Paul Beaumont

The 3's were struggling for players this week due to Reserve team call ups, people moving house, stag do's and a masonic 'Ladies Night' (Dan, did you wear an apron?) The twelve in the squad faced a tough game against Laburnum, who were fresh off a 3-0 win over Maori Park Reserves.

With players away Nigel Watford started at centre back with Stu Hawley moving to centre midfield. Last week's hat-trick hero Minibrain moved to right midfield, with Hicks coming in up front. Burton returned in goal with Day moving to right back and youngster Larkin running the line!

Laburnum didn't start well with players arriving seconds before kick off, and a tendency to 'have a go' at each other! Both sides looked to get the ball wide but the rain during the week didn't aid this and the pitch at Wimbledon Common extensions had started to turn into a bog; it also made turning quickly a problem. The Old Ruts had the upper hand in the early stages and won numerous corners, but despite some good balls in and a couple of goalmouth scrambles, the ball wouldn't go in the net.

Then in between a call of 'Bernie's' and 'Sorry lads, my fault', Laburnum took the lead after a long ball forward. The Ruts kept plugging away and kept the opposition defence under a great deal of pressure. Just before half time they were rewarded with a well-taken equaliser from Hicks.

The second half continued the same way with the Ruts on top and Laburnum only easing the pressure with a few counter attacks. Midway through the half Elmo found himself one on one with the keeper. A cheeky lob had him wheeling away in delight and heading for the trees in celebration. However, the ball had other ideas as it bounced just short of the line and shot up to hit the bar before being cleared. Elmo spent several seconds standing in the trees, head and shoulders slumped, silent in disbelief.

Larkin replaced Vermeulen on the left with 25 minutes to go and then - some might say controversially - Forrest (acting on a suggestion) decided to move Stu to centre back and bring Nigel into the midfield. A move that Hawley initially didn't seem too happy with!

With just over a quarter of an hour left the ball broke to Minibrain in the Laburnum box. He headed the ball towards the left of the opposition goal. A defender tried to clear the ball with his head but only managed to divert the ball into the opposite side of the net leaving the goalie wrong footed.
A 2-1 lead for the Ruts that all their hard work deserved.

Laburnum then started playing with more urgency and pushed players forward looking for the equaliser. The Ruts defence held firm with Stu 'The Rock' Hawley outstanding in his play at the back. A last minute chance for Laburnum was thankfully put over the bar as the Ruts finished the game worthy 2-1 winners.

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By Steve Nicola

Old Ruts 'A' showed excellent character to battle back from a nightmare start and take all three points in their first league match for two months.

They were 1-0 down within two minutes when Craig Lyle attempted to clear a through ball, only to slice the ball into his own net.

After taking a while to clear their heads and slowly play their way into the game, the Ruts were beginning to get competitive around the 20 minute mark. An excellent cross from Simon Minihane was controlled and thumped goalward by Paul Beaumont, but the keeper blocked it with his legs. Soon after a corner found its way to Erol Yilmaz, whose trusty left peg failed him for once as he crashed a shot over from 12 yards.

In the meantime Ruts keeper Matt Burton was producing an assured display at the other end to keep the deficit to one goal as he thwarted Southfields attacks with excellent handling and good positioning.

This paid off after half an hour when the Ruts equalised. Beaumont got to the byline and with James Fenton rushing goalwards dragging two defenders with him, Steve Nicola steamed up to the edge of the area screaming for a cutback. Beaumont duly obliged and Nicola cracked home an unstoppable howitzer for 1-1.

The Ruts had their tails up and just five minutes later were in front. Nicola harried and robbed a Southfields defender before quickly playing in Yilmaz. Although Yilmaz couldn't control the ball it fell nicely for Fenton to shoot the Ruts into a 2-1 lead, before loudly proclaiming: "That's how you finish boys!" The lad doesn't lack confidence.

Southfields started the second half determined to get back into it and put the Ruts under heavy pressure. The home defence were dropping dangerously deep but were surviving thanks to some excellent last ditch tackles from defenders Pete Day, Graham Winter and Craig Lyle, but most notably from Nigel Watford who was superb at centre back. Beaumont and Rob Goldsmith were working hard in midfield closing down and dispossessing the skillful Southfields players, who all seemed to want to walk the ball into the net instead of picking out a simple pass.

The visitors thought they'd equalised on 55 minutes when their centre back rose unchallenged to meet a free kick at the far post, only to see his header unluckily crash against the post. A let off for the Ruts.

At the other end Yilmaz was proving a handful and he flicked on a long throw which Nicola blasted over, before Graham Winter snuck onto a long ball at the far post but scuffed his close range shot, allowing a defender to clear off the line.

With 10 minutes left Southfields threw men forward. A goal looked certain when their striker hit a good effort from the edge of the box, but Burton got across brilliantly to palm the ball to safety. A game clinching save if ever there was one, for the Ruts went straight up the other end and won a free kick. Stuart Hawley was now on for the tiring Nicola and he fired in a good shot which was scrambled away to Lyle on the left wing. His perfect cross was nodded goalwards by Adam 'Feza' Clark (on for the always tired Yilmaz) and although the keeper somehow kept it out, there was Fenton to poach his second of the game and wrap up the points for the Ruts.

With the spirit draining from Southfields, a long clearance in injury time was chased by Fenton who nipped ahead of the outrushing keeper to poke home his well deserved hattrick goal. 4-1 and a job well done.

All in all a great performance and excellent result. Beaumont was awarded Man of the Match for a tireless performance breaking up numerous attacks when his teammates' energy levels were starting to run low (ie from about the 50th minute.) But to be fair there wasn't one bad performance amongst the Ruts players, who did well to show determination and resolve to recover from their early setback. If that passion is repeated for the rest of the season there's every chance of a top two finish in what is proving to be a very tight league.

By Steve Nicola

Old Ruts 'A' battled hard for 90 minutes to earn a point against league leaders Wandsworth Town.

Hit by late withdrawals, the Ruts travelled to Wandsworth with just 11 players. With Steve Nicola not yet up to completing 90 minutes after his lengthy injury lay off and Erol Yilmaz rumoured to have never completed 90 minutes in his career, things didn't look promising.

Wandsworth started much the better side despite kicking into the strong wind and it was soon evident why they were top as their skillful midfielders and pacy striker stretched the Ruts back four of Pete Day, Nigel Watford, Graham Winter and Craig Lyle. But with Paul 'Forrest' Beaumont running around like a man possessed in midfield and breaking up many attacks, helped by fellow central midfielder Rob Goldsmith, Ruts keeper Matt Burton was only seriously tested once in the first half when he did brilliantly to tip a stinging drive over the bar.

In truth the increasingly boggy pitch was making it hard to pass properly which was a real leveller as neither side could mount many decent attacks. This suited the Ruts, who got their foot in when they could and launched it towards the pacy outlets of Ollie Hicks or Simon Minihane.

Despite this the Ruts actually came closest to scoring when Graham Winter hit a 35 yard free kick against the bar with the keeper beaten. The shot was aided greatly by the wind, but credit to Bernie as he took this into account and was desperately unlucky not to score.

After the break Wandsworth were getting frustrated at their inability to break down the resolute Ruts and tempers started to fray. Their mood wasn't helped on 60 minutes when the Ruts took a shock lead against the run of play. Watford played a good ball to Nicola's feet, who turned and ran at the defence. Minihane made a clever infield run from the right wing and Nicola threaded it between centre back and full back perfectly for him to run onto. As Minihane entered the area a chasing defender clipped him and the ref awarded a spot kick (the defender can consider himself fortunate not to see red). Bernie Winter assumed penalty duties and I must admit my confidence in him dropped a little bit when, as he prepared to run up, he quietly urged me to follow his shot in! But he put it away neatly for 1-0.

If the Ruts had held their lead for a reasonable amount of time they may have claimed all three points, but within two minutes the Wandsworth number 9 equalised when the Ruts failed to clear for once and he gave Burton no chance at his near post from close range.

A team without character would have folded at this point but the Ruts clung desperately to their point. With 15 minutes left Wandsworth were throwing caution to the wind and leaving gaps at the back in their efforts to get a winner. Pete Day went close with a header before right back Lyle somehow found himself clean through after a breakaway, but hit a woeful shot way over the bar from well outside the area as he didn't have the energy to run any further! And no, I'm not joking, we were all knackered at this stage! (All except Beaumont, who had actually played a game of tennis in the morning and could still have jogged home if he needed to).

At this stage Hicks and Day were both carrying injuries, but with no subs Day had to play up front for the last 10 minutes as he could hardly move. Yilmaz and Nicola would also have been subbed as both had run themselves into the boggy, energy-sapping ground, but the 11 soldiered on.

Wandsworth continued to have most of the possession, but couldn't fashion any meaningful chances and in injury time their number 8 was red carded for a petulant kick off the ball as his frustration finally boiled over.

The final whistle went not a moment too soon for the Ruts, who staggered off the pitch nursing cuts and bruises from what had been a very physical, hard fought game, but delighted with the moral victory they'd earned.

Craig Lyle got the Man of the Match vote just ahead of Beaumont, and special mention must go to injured Tim Ardley who came along to run the line for 90 minutes.

By Steve Nicola

Old Ruts 'A' rescued a point with a late equaliser despite playing well below their best for much of the game.

It was a strangely off-colour performance from the Ruts, who'd raised the bar with some good recent displays but couldn't live up to them against a determined MMB who took the game to their opponents from the start.

The visitors took a deserved lead on 15 minutes when an uncharacteristic error from keeper Matt Burton allowed an MMB striker to roll the ball into an empty net. Burton made up for it with a good display from then on, preventing the scoreline from being 2-0 minutes later when he produced a fantastic save from a point blank shot that looked a certain goal.

The Ruts slowly worked their way into the game, but the equaliser on 30 minutes was still against the run of play. A long ball flicked off a defender's head allowing James Fenton to control the ball, open his body up and curl a shot past the keeper from the edge of the area.

Fenton's lively running and workrate was providing a good outlet for the Ruts, and with Simon Minihane causing MMB problems down the right flank the Ruts created a few chances although it was still 1-1 at the break.

The second period was much more even and both sides were creating opportunities, despite the bobbly pitch not being conducive to any good football. Ollie Hicks hit a shot just over before a clever Minihane flick released Fenton clean through, but his shot drifted wide.

Burton had already made two more great saves by the time he was finally beaten again on 70 minutes when a well struck shot nestled in the bottom corner for 2-1.

The Ruts committed men forward in search of an equaliser and it nearly came from a free kick when Fenton's shot crashed back off the crossbar.

MMB were looking dangerous on the break and only some desperate defending and good goalkeeping prevented them killing off the game.

The Ruts never gave up though and equalised with only a few minutes left. Steve Nicola picked up the ball on halfway and beat three men as he went on a determined dribble straight at the heart of the defence. When he reached the penalty area Nicola dinked a ball between the centre backs which Erol Yilmaz did well to reach in front of the keeper and knock sideways to Fenton, who played the ball across the six yard box for Nicola to sidefoot home.

Both sides went for the winner in the closing stages but had to settle for a point apiece. The Ruts will be disappointed not to have beaten the bottom side in their division, but given their performance will be grateful to have taken anything from the game in the end.

Fenton was one of only a handful of players who played to their potential and was deservedly awarded Man of the Match for his tireless front running, goal and assist.

By Erol Yilmaz

The third team played away to Fulham Deaf in an entertaining match. Before the game there was only one thing on the players' minds - how were they to manage without Steve 'Zidane' Nicola!

A tough game in prospect, but the Ruts started the better playing some nice football on a very good pitch! After 20 minutes a stunning move saw Yilmaz put a Hoddle-esque ball through to Fenton and the Ruts took a deserved lead. A half time lead would have been nice against tough opposition, but
unfortunately this was not to be!

The Fulham number 6, easily the best player on the pitch (now that Nicola was out) was giving Day
and the rest of the back four the run-around. With Nigel Watford going down injured the Ruts were all over the place and three goals in five minutes saw the Ruts 3-1 down at half time.

However, there is a new found belief in the team since Christmas and everyone was optimistic that they could get back into the game. The second half began evenly with keeper Matt Burton playing his usual excellent game and Craig Lyle, Watford, Pete Day and Scott Stoney (in his first game back this season) looking far more solid this half.

On 75 minutes Yilmaz burst (sort of) down the flank and put in a Ginola-esque cross which Day volleyed in from 8 yards! A minute late another superb move saw Yilmaz again involved with an Archibald-esque flick on from a Minihane throw which Winter pounced on for 3-3! (Webmaster's note: for our younger readers, Hoddle & Archibald were Spurs players the last time they had a decent side 25 years ago)

With Paul Beaumont and Danny Poulter (talking a good game rather than running) holding the midfield together, the Ruts looked good for a win. Subs were made and Ollie Hicks and Tim Ardley (both of whose attitude has been tremendous this season) came on for the Ruts and Frank 'Pincher' Bruno came on for Fulham Deaf. Two minutes later the wails could be heard in north London as Day screamed: "He pinched me, he pinched me like a girl!" Bruno had left his mark!

After 85 minutes another mazy run from the number 6 resulted in Fulham going 4-3 up. The Ruts still refused to be outdone and threw caution to the wind. A great run by Hicks saw him felled (see you at the Oscars) and a spot-kick awarded. The penalty was put away excellently by Graham Winter leaving Raymond Barneveld in goal with no chance.

Man of the Match went to Burton. With spirit like this all bodes well for the cup game against Chessington KC next week.

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By Darren Noonan

Another Saturday, another new manager for the third team as Yilmaz's infamous Friday night drinking session led to another resignation from the big Turkish fella! This week's celebrity manager was Noonan, who was returning from a two month lay off with a steaming hangover after joining Yilmaz on the Friday Night Project!

Joining Noonan on his return were Stu 'Symbols' Hawley and Barney Langton in a new look third team. Drunken team discussions on Friday night led to an experimental Chelsea-style formation of 4-3-2-1 with Burton between the sticks and a solid looking back four of Daisy, Waffle, Noonan and Langton. The midfield three were Bernie Winter, Caps and Steve 'ZZ' Nicola with Yilmaz the lone striker supported on the wings by Fenton and Miniman. [Webmaster's note: Keown originally announced the team as 4-4-2, which is how we took to the field, but as the drunken haze started to lift he suddenly remembered his new formation and changed to 4-3-2-1 while Yilmaz was contesting the toss - talk about last minute changes skip!] Didier Yilmaz won the toss as he gained the captain's armband and decided to play into the sun and defend the very sticky Nursery Road end of the ground.

Noonan missed a few long balls which were cleared up by the covering Langton and Waffle, but despite this the Ruts played the better football and had three good penalty appeals, of which only one was given. Fenton won the penalty on 20 minutes after good link up play between Nicola and Yilmaz put him through. But the spot kick was hammered against the bar as the new manager bewildered the fans by giving pens to Capper instead of the regular Bernie, who has yet to miss - D'oh!

Minutes later Pete 'Twinkle Toes' Day went scampering down the wing into the box and was brought down only to have all appeals somehow turned down as the ref played advantage!?! The third and final penalty appeal was when weak-kneed Nicola collapsed under pressure, but again despite the vocal supporters screaming for another pen the ref waved play on!

Confidence was high at the half time team talk as Noonan came off for Lyle meaning a switch to centre half for Langton on his return.

Can't remember much about the second half cos Nicola refused to run the line for me, so I concentrated fully on our nippy back line! Man of the Match was between Waffle, Minihane and Capper with Caps just nudging it for his commanding role in the middle of the park despite missing the penalty!!

[Webmaster's note: What's this Keown, half a match report?! Not even a mention of the goals?! Guess I'll have to finish the report myself..... *shakes head and sighs*]

The Ruts bossed the second half and almost scored within a minute when Yilmaz rolled a volley down his shin and almost caught the keeper out. The midfield trio of Caps, Bernie and Nicola were by now dominant and providing plenty of ammunition for pacy wingers Minihane and Fenton, who were causing Maori no end of problems. Yilmaz was linking it all up with some intelligent play with his back to goal, laying off some good passes. At the back we looked solid with Burton yet to have a troublesome save to make thanks to some stout defending.

Nicola's knee problem flared up again on 55 minutes and Ollie Hicks replaced him (by the way, I refused to run the line cos I limped off injured - if I was fit enough to run the line I'd have still been on the pitch!) Usually this is the point the Ruts begin to tire, but amazingly we were up against the only side in the County with lower fitness levels than us (and I'm including all Vets teams in that). There looked only one winner, even when Yilmaz dragged himself off the pitch to allow the return of Symbols. Fenton hit the bar, Minihane couldn't quite connect with a great ball across the 6 yard box and Hicks almost caught the keeper out with a quick snapshot - but the Ruts couldn't score.

On 75 minutes Maori took the lead against the run of play after a scramble from a corner - their first attack of the half. But within a minute a superb pass from Winter sent Minihane scurrying away and he opened his body up before neatly tucking away the equaliser.

Burton made a brilliant save on 85 minutes, deflecting a shot onto the post, but that apart it was one way traffic with the Ruts looking the more likely victors. Unfortunately the winner never came, but the Ruts can reflect on a good performance that stopped the rot of three straight defeats.

By Steve Nicola

A gritty, determined performance saw the Ruts win for the first time in eight games and dent Esher's title hopes. Manager Darren Noonan stuck with his 4-3-2-1 formation and it delivered again (although it clearly took some players a while to adapt as Simon Minihane was still asking me where he was supposed to be playing 10 minutes into the game).

The Ruts lined up with Matt Burton between the sticks and a back four of Pete 'Daisy' Day, Nigel Watford, Stuart Hawley and Gary Langton. Graham Winter took the holding role in midfield sitting just behind the central midfield pairing of Rob Goldsmith and Steve Nicola. Erol Yilmaz was up front flanked by the two wing-forwards Minihane and James Fenton.

The pitch was diabolical - dry, cracked, bumpy and bobbly - and it was impossible to play a decent passing game on it. Esher were obviously used to knocking it around on the deck and struggled to come to terms with the conditions, whereas the Ruts tactic of playing direct football to Yilmaz to hold it up and bring others into play (or flick it wide to Minihane and Fenton) was more suited to the conditions and worked well.

That said the first chance fell to Esher when their number 11 hit a crashing 18 yard volley which Burton did brilliantly to palm round the post. Moments later though the Ruts were in front. Nicola picked the ball up in midfield and played Winter through, but a horrible bobble saw the ball bounce off his knee into the path of Minihane who tucked it away neatly for 1-0.

On 15 minutes Esher levelled with a superb free kick which went in off the post giving Burton no chance. Past Ruts teams would've crumbled at this point but Keown's boys are made of stern stuff and they responded well, taking the game to Esher and working hard to deny them opportunities.

The key to this match was the midfield and the Ruts trio of Goldsmith, Winter and Nicola determinedly harried and hassled their opponents out of possession time after time. Buoyed by the excellent vocal encouragement of Langton (who never stopped talking, be it to gee up team mates or wind up the opposition) the midfield triumvarate took a grip of the game. Winter had by now been assigned a man-marking job on Esher's best player and did it so well that the Ruts were generally on top for the rest of the match.

Esher had their last clear-cut chance of the game on 25 minutes when a good shot from the edge of the area was somehow saved by a diving Burton when everyone expected the net to bulge (ultimately these two top-drawer early saves from Burton were to prove crucial).

On the half hour mark the Ruts regained the lead when a good run by Fenton resulted in him being sandwiched in the box and the ref blew for a penalty. Rookie manager Keown had learnt his lesson after last week's fiasco and Winter was back on pens. Bernie comfortably converted for 2-1.

At halftime the Esher manager tried to get us to switch to an empty pitch which had much more grass on it, but he was politely informed of our decision to continue where we were (Symbols was especially polite as you would imagine) and so we kicked off the second half encouraged by the fact Esher were struggling to come to terms with the pitch.

The second half was a real dour battle. Daisy illuminated proceedings by running down the right wing juggling the ball on his head, Goldsmith tried an acrobatic scissor kick which is currently orbiting the moon, and Nicola somehow lost his footing with the goal at his mercy after a ridiculous bobble. Hawley even had time to entertain the crowd with a couple of party tricks, but the Ruts backline stayed intact led by an awesome performance from Man of the Match Waffle who cleared everything that came his way (be it ball or opponent).

There were few chances at either end until the game became stretched in the last ten minutes when Esher threw caution to the wind. They were caught on the break by Feza though, as he muscled his way past a challenge on the byline and drove home from an acute angle. Langton shouted a congratulatory "Well done J Lo!" later explaining that the resemblance comes from the size of Ms Lopez's and Feza's arses.

The Ruts saw out the last few minutes and as the final whistle went, Keown was acclaimed with cheers of "Who needs Mourinho, we've got Nooninho!" for masterminding an excellent tactical victory which lifts the Ruts to mid-table security and looking forward to next week's visit of league leaders Wandsworth Town.

By Steve Nicola

Old Ruts held the league leaders to a 1-1 draw for the second time this season, but this felt like a victory for the manner in which it was earned.

Preperation was not ideal when I arrived at Nursery Road 45 minutes before kick off to find only three team mates present and no sign of the management. Laurel eventually stumbled into the dressing room still drunk from the night before, while Hardy was apparently still in bed - Graham Winter had to ring him and wake him up to find out the team!

Onto the game and any chance the Ruts had of getting something from an already tough enough fixture seemed to evaporate in the third minute when Steve Nicola was fouled in the Wandsworth half, only for the ref to mystifyingly wave play on. The action immediately switched to the other end where Stuart Hawley committed a foul no worse than the unpunished one, but this time the ref blew up much to the Ruts' frustration. Stuart in particular was annoyed and his protestation of "Fu***ng hell ref" was met with a straight red card. Technically I suppose it was a correct dismissal for foul and abusive language, but if the ref was to apply that law consistently it would have been eight a side by half time. Needless to say he didn't and the cynical side of me thinks Stuart was unlucky to be the first player to show dissent in a match where the referee was being assessed and wanted to show how strict he was. And we all know the stricter you are (and the less common sense you use) the further you will get as a ref nowadays.

So an uphill struggle had just become even steeper. Striker Erol Yilmaz was slowly sobering up and he dropped into midfield leaving James Fenton on his own up front. The fact that the Ruts were able to get out of their half at all during the next 45 minutes was thanks to some unselfish work from Fenton who ran his socks off closing down defenders and offering himself as an outlet for desperate defenders to hit.

Most of the play was in the Ruts half as the home side sat deep and tried to play on the break. On 10 minutes the nippy little Wandsworth striker burst through and keeper Matt Burton did well to parry his shot. The Ruts were still a little shell-shocked and it looked like 'when' rather than 'if' Wandsworth would open the scoring, but they soon settled into their new formation. The Ruts back four of Scott Hawley, Pete Day, Nigel Watford and Luke was now being shielded by three men playing Makalele roles in midfield - Steve Nicola, Graham Winter and Erol Yilmaz - and Simon Minihane playing left midfield. This proved so effective that Burton didn't have a shot to save for the rest of the half.

This left Fenton up front to try and relieve the pressure. He soon had a half chance to give the Ruts a shock lead when Nicola robbed the left back and sent over a good cross but a firm challenge denied Fenton a clear header.

The Ruts now had a foothold in the match and Creates started to bomb forward from right full back to good effect. Fenton had already released him twice with superb long range passes before the best chance of the match so far came on 30 minutes. Fenton and Creates worked a good one-two down the right and Luke cut it back to Nicola in the area. Nicola rolled a clever pass across the six yard box where Minihane was steaming in but unfortunately Minihane somehow managed to blaze over from close range with the goal gaping.

Wandsworth were frustrated at their inability to break the Ruts down and tempers started to flare. Graham Winter was having a great game breaking up attacks and winning headers in the middle, but he could easily have conceded a penalty after a clumsy challenge from a corner. A melee ensued as Wandsworth angrily demanded a penalty and they left the scene moaning about the ref, failing to see the irony of having already been given the massive benefit of his worst decision of the afternoon in the third minute.

Soon after young Ruts sub Daniel Larkin, running the line, was harrassed by a Wandsworth supporter after a close offside decision and another melee ensued as the argument was brought under control (but not before young Daniel had used his flag to good effect on his harrasser).

The Ruts trudged off by far the happier side at half time and manager Darren Noonan moved Creates to right midfield to try and give him even more chance to get forward. Yilmaz's heavy legs moved back to centre half with Day shifting to right back.

This worked well as the Ruts were on top for the first 10 minutes of the second half without creating any clear chances. Wandsworth were still dangerous though and a well worked move gave their midfielder a clear sight of goal 10 yards out only for him to be denied by Nicola hurling himself in front of the shot to block a seemingly certain goal.

Ironically the Ruts were looking at their most comfortable when Wandsworth finally scored on 65 minutes. A good pass split the Ruts centrebacks allowing a striker to round Burton and roll the ball into an empty net.

Wandsworth celebrated wildly and their number 4 (who was distinguishable for his effeminate hairband and for talking a far better game than he actually played) gave it large with a chant of "That's why we're champions!"

But the Ruts showed tremendous character not to let their heads go down and continued to battle. With just five minutes left they won a corner and Luke swung it under the crossbar for the Ruts to challenge the shaky young keeper, who had already shown questionable handling. Ollie Hicks did enough to put him off and Yilmaz seized on the keeper's fumble to hook home a deserved equaliser. The Wandsworth number 4 decided not to sing anything at this point.

The spirit drained out of Wandsworth and the Ruts held on for a few more minutes to claim an excellent point. Every player worked hard, most having to sacrifice their normal game for the good of the team, and there were many contenders for Man of the Match but Nicola got the manager's nod as Nooninho made it three matches out of three unbeaten in his fledgling managerial career.

By Steve Nicola

A poor first half display ultimately cost the 'A' team as they lost their first match in four.

An inability to pass simply saw the Ruts give possession away time after time in a scrappy first half and the hosts took full advantage to go in at half time 2-0 ahead. The Ruts only had one real chance to score when Minihane just failed to get on a low ball across the six yard box, and a couple of good saves from Matt Burton kept the scoreline down.

A halftime roasting from gaffer Nooninho saw a marked improvement and the Ruts battled well after the interval, playing more football instead of hoofing it aimlessly and they caused SHFC problems. Steve Berry should've done better on 60 minutes when Jeremy Capper headed a corner across the face of the goalmouth to him just three yards out and unmarked but somehow he got underneath it and the ball flew over.

With ten minutes left Berry made amends, running onto Man of the Match Capper's excellent through ball and flicking the ball wide of the onrushing keeper and in off the post.

For the last few minutes the Ruts played a 3-3-4 formation and launched Hail Marys towards Yilmaz and Watford up front, but despite picking up the pieces often and some promising approach play they couldn't fashion a clear opening and SHFC held on for the three points.

By Steve Nicola

A heavily depleted Ruts managed to scrape together a victory and banish any lingering threat of relegation.

With 45 minutes until kick off we had nine players and headed to the ground making desperate phone calls on the way. Thankfully four men responded and all turned up to get changed by the pitch as we kicked off playing a 4-3-1 formation for the first five minutes! Thankfully the Bank Holiday weekend had depleted Riverdale too and our opponents started with 10 men, number 11 only turning up in the 10th minute.

The game itself was largely forgettable as a dry, bobbly, rock-hard pitch made any decent football virtually impossible to play. But Kevin Foster lit up proceedings with one piece of magic after 30 minutes, controlling a throw in, flicking the ball past his marker and rifling a 30 yard volley into the top corner for the only goal of the game.

Plenty of battling and hard work made sure Riverdale never seriously threatened the Ruts goal, despite having the majority of possession. Strikers Feza and Fenton threatened on the break but neither were able to beat the keeper and the Ruts comfortably held on for a dull yet commendable win.

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